(Becoming Your Best Self Series—Part 10)
It can feel so hard sometimes to accept change. We are so used to being and feeling one way. No matter how good we know the change will be for us, we crave the comfort of knowing what already exists. It’s not the perfect life… but it’s our life. Still, we know there is a better path out there. We know it won’t be easy at first, but once we reach that point life will be so more fulfilled, easier, and happier. We’ll be who we’re truly meant to be.
Growing into WHO you are meant to become is a big part of why you need to be really open about change. You can’t force yourself to do it— clearly, that hasn’t worked very well in the past. Remain open to what life will bring you. You can’t judge yourself for things that happen. Remember to remain an impartial observer about your actions and not beat yourself up. This way you can make positive tweaks and changes to who you want to become over time.
It can be hard to accept who you are, sometimes. We tend to give other people a lot more slack than we give ourselves. We forgive others for their mistakes but find it really hard to forgive ourselves. That’s a mistake in and of itself because you are a worthy and valuable person.
We are all fallible. The difference between those you admire and the way you are right now is that they are open and aware of who they are. Everything is an opportunity to do better. They remain positive about every experience, they are strong, and they do not allow themselves to dwell in toxic thoughts.
If you allow yourself to be open to who you are— to truly accept yourself— you’ll be a lot better off. Give yourself permission to accept who you are and it will be so much easier to change.
That might seem kind of counterintuitive. After all, if you could accept who you are, then you wouldn’t have a need to change, right? Actually, that’s not it at all. Even those people who you consider to have “ideal” lives have a lot of things they will strive to change and do better. The enlightened person knows there is so much out there they don’t know. They find great joy in constantly rediscovering themselves and the world around them.
It’s time to be nice to yourself. You’re a great person already. The fact that you want to work so hard to change speaks volumes about who you truly are. You’re an enlightened person who wants to seek a higher purpose— to find true happiness and joy in the world.
You’re not satisfied with the negativity and downfalls in your life right now. It’s time for something more and it’s time for something better. But you can’t make those wonderful, lasting changes if you aren’t open and accepting of yourself as you already are. Love yourself— it helps.
As incredible as our brains are, they can only focus on so much. If you’re constantly judging yourself and kicking yourself while you’re down, there isn’t enough energy left over for a lasting change. Love yourself and you’ll free yourself to change. That sounds airy-fairy, I realize, but it’s absolutely true.
Who Are You?
Are you like an excited puppy, ready to head toward new experiences? If not, consider the 'puppy approach'.
If you’re mindful, aware, and open, you’ll be the puppy, ready to head into new things. Sure, sometimes it will be scary and challenging, but you’re going to do it.
The puppy might fall down sometimes, but ultimately he’s going to be a strong, healthy, happy puppy who is consistent in being mindful, aware and open. Who are you going to be?
The World Is Different Than You Think It Is
I have news for you— the world you live in is one you’ve invented. We touched on that before but now your mind is open to looking at that statement in a new context. It’s time to see yourself and the world from a new light.
Stumbling or falling down or doing something you perceive to be “bad” or ill-advised doesn’t mean that’s who you truly are. You’re not the sum total of your mistakes. You’re an incredible person who is now aware and enlightened enough to become your ideal person. You can become whoever it is you want to become.
Be Open and Objective and the World is Yours
Are you feeling down? Observe impartially and figure out why. Are you angry or mad? Observe impartially and look beyond the presenting problem or trigger. What is below the surface? Why did you react in such a fashion?
You’ll soon learn not to focus at all on the petty stuff and to address the underlying issue or trigger and that is where the self-work lays. You need to free your mind for real and lasting change— not dwell on judging yourself or others or stewing over your mistakes. Today, for the first time, it’s truly a new day.
You’ll See Other People Differently, Too
It’s a great bonus that in addition to seeing yourself differently, you’ll start to see others differently as well. You’ll view them in a whole new light. The little things won’t matter anymore. You’ll be more accepting of others extending them grace. You’ll start to see them for who they really are— they’re judging themselves and kicking themselves on the inside just like you were.
Relationships are a huge part of who we are. First our relationship to ourselves and then our relationship to others. By accepting yourself 'as is", you are able more easily to accept others as they are. It’s an incredible and freeing feeling. Others will start to notice the changes in you, which further reinforces what you’re doing. It’s a wonderful cycle.
In the next edition, we will explore "Eliminating False Beliefs"
Until then, many blessings and much peace!